In my previous two posts, parenting expert, author and television personality Alyson Schafer brought us insight into how to balance home and work life.

In this final post of the series, Schafer offers tips on making sure you have time for your spouse or partner, dealing with guilt, and setting your priorities as a business owner and a parent.

Tip # 1 – On Family Businesses
• If you’re thinking about bringing your kids into the family business, don’t overburden them.  For example, if you have a retail store, don’t force them to work the same crazy hours you do, causing them to miss life.
• Be aware that their interests may not be the same as your own.

Tip # 2 – Managing Your ‘Other’ Business Partner
• Your relationship with your spouse or partner is a vibrant living thing and needs oxygen and nourishment.
• The key is to stay ‘Creatively Connected’ – i.e. meeting for lunch at a special crepe place every Wednesday, planning a weekend together once a month.
• Make a commitment and set aside this time for yourselves, saying ‘We’ll talk about the business and/or the kids for the first 15 minutes, then that’s it!’
• Going into business with your spouse/partner can be a deadly formula (statistically speaking) and these relationships do not typically survive. If you’re going to try it, have a counselor on the side to help deal with issues that pop up.

Tip # 3 – Dealing with guilt
• In therapy, guilt is defined as ‘good intentions we don’t plan to keep.’ Feeling guilty gives you the ability to feel bad about something you’re doing/not doing but still hold yourself in high regard.
• If you feel bad about something you’ve done or haven’t done in relation to your kids or family, accept it or change it! And stop whining!
• Realize that your current situation is a consequence of your choices and these choices have brought you to where you are today; either accept the choices as part of your journey or change your choices and move on!

Tip # 4 – Key Message for Business Owners
• Ask yourself: “If you’re saying YES to the business, what are you saying NO to?”
• If you’re saying YES to long hours, increasing sales, more money, what are you saying NO to? Are you still able to watch your kids grow and be with them when they’re young?
• Ask yourself what’s more important. There is no right or wrong answer here. You may be the sole supporter of the family and need to work these long hours. You may be choosing to work long hours just to keep growing the business.
• Just realize that there are only 24 hours in a day. If you’re saying YES to the business, always ask yourself what you’re saying NO to, make your choice, then move on.

Our thanks to Alyson for her time with this article. We hope that by implementing one or more of these tips into your life, you’re able to balance being a parent with your business obligations, and find fulfillment through both. If you want to learn more about Alyson, please visit her website, BMO SmartSteps for Parents, or pick up one of her books; my wife and I have read them and highly recommend them!

Also, be sure to check out the first and second posts of this series for more of Alyson’s tips.

Happy Parenting!


*Part 3 of Edmar's interview with Alyson was originally posted to the BMO SmartSteps for Business community on November 8, 2011. BMO SmartSteps for Business connects business owners with small business experts.